The Way it Should Have Been
by The Congressman
Summary: Elliot and Olivia were meant to be together. This is a collection of one shots depicting how it could have been conceivably been done while still being cannon compliant. They will follow ten episodes but will be done the right way. EO all the way :)
1. Underbelly

**A/N: Hi everyone. I know all of you want an update for Prey and/or Countdown. Trust me, I'm working on them as we speak. I've just started my last semester of school and things are kind of hectic.**

**Anyway, Lillybug991 gave me this idea and I'm running with it. Normally I don't like working within canon cause I like changing things around, but I kind of like the challenge. Time to show the writers of SVU the countless times they could have conceivably made an EO relationship happen.**

**I shall be using episodes from across the spectrum. Bear in mind though I'm writing a lot of these from memory, so it might have a few errors :)**

**Disclaimer: If the episodes presented do not match what you see on TV, then I do not own SVU.**

**Also, if you guys haven't seen American Sniper, do so. It is the best movie ever!**

**This story is dedicated to Lillybug991. And a special thanks to Stabson for betaing.**

**Enjoy and review :)**

**The Way it Should Have Been**

**A series by The Congressman**

Part One: Underbelly

The elevator doors closing in front of her, Olivia sighed and slumped against the wall. It had been a long several months away from the precinct, and she had to admit she missed the place. Hell, she spent more of the last nine years of her life here than in her own apartment; there were still unopened boxes buried in the back of her closet from God knows when.

Leaning her head back and closing her eyes, her mind flashed back to the adventures over the last three months. Dealing with those ecoterrorists trying to blow up the corporate headquarters, Dana shanghaiing her as part of the FBI undercover op, abandoning Olivia Benson for Persephone James running across Oregon with those tree hugging nutjobs protesting logging camps and coal plants… She was lucky to take a bath once a week, boy she smelled like a, well hippie.

One memory stood out like no other. They had been in the Salem Jail infirmary after a protest; Olivia had been knocked out by a state policeman when they cracked down a protest against a logging company. The cop had been a bit excessive, but she could understand where he was coming from. The protesters were an angry bunch, swearing and hurling invective, bottles, and cans at the line of police. If she had been in the line Olivia couldn't have sworn she'd have restrained herself either. When she woke up from unconsciousness the next day:

"_You ok Persephone?"_

_She blinked her eyes, rubbing a throbbing headache in the back of her head. "Yeah, just a little pain from Five O there. No biggie."_

_The girl nodded. "So who's Elliot?"_

_Olivia froze in the bed. "What?"_

"_You kept whispering the name Elliot in your sleep. Someone you knew?"_

"_Yeah," she admitted, not wanting to go into it, not just because of her cover._

"_Based on your reaction now he must have meant a lot to you._

Even now her companion's words rang true in her mind. In her nine years in SVU Olivia had made most of her strongest friendships. The quirky and hilarious John Munch, always equipped with a joke about JFK or Ruby Ridge. The intimidating but dependable Fin Tutuola, protecting her on the job like a big brother. The ADAs Alex Cabot and Casey Novak, fighting for the victims in the courtroom as she did on the street. It was nice having woman friends who knew what the job was like, given that she was the only female detective at the 1-6. There was Don Cragen, the closest thing to a father figure she ever had. She could go to him with any problem, especially in the seven years since her mother collapsed down the subway steps and broke her neck.

However, no relationship from her nine years could compare to the one she had had with Elliot Stabler. The blue eyed detective was many things to her, her partner, her best friend, the man who understood her more than all her previous boyfriends combined. It was as she told him long before, he had been the longest relationship she ever had with a man.

Ever since the incident in the Salem City Jail, Olivia had conducted some intense soul searching about her feelings for Elliot. The last year had been a rather tough one in their partnership, and it had been on the rocks when she abruptly left. In the preceding weeks, she had come to a conclusion, a conclusion her subconscious had known long before her conscious had admitted it. She loved him.

Olivia Benson loved Elliot Stabler.

A sharp ding interrupted her thoughts, the elevator doors opening to her floor. This was it, the moment of truth. She had prepped herself for this, wearing a purple t-shirt, stylish jeans that hugged her curves, and put her hair up in a tasteful ponytail all to see Elliot again. The moment had played over and over in her head, she'd step out of the elevator, walk along the hallway, enter the bullpen, look at her old desk where sitting right next to it would be…

An unfamiliar blonde woman writing a DD5. 'Strange.' Undaunted, she walked into the bullpen toward the desk. The blonde looked up. "Yes? Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, hi," replied Olivia. "Is Detective Stabler in? I need to speak with him."

"He stepped out for a moment, but I'm his partner Dani Beck."

For some reason, Olivia felt a stab of jealousy. Why, she didn't know; of course they'd assign a new partner to him while she was away. 'But I'm his partner damn it!' Shaking the thoughts out of her head, she smiled at her replacement. "No, no, it's alright. Is the Captain in?"

"Yep, he's in his office ma'am."

"Thanks." Taking a deep breath, Olivia knocked on Cragen's door.

"Come in." Don Cragen looked up from his reading and saw Olivia enter. "Liv, God it's good to see you," he smiled, rising out of his chair to give her a hug. "When did you get back?"

"Yesterday. They needed me for a court case and the op with the Feds ended early so… I'm back."

"That's great," he said. He was ecstatic that one of his best detectives had returned. Elliot hadn't been the same since she left abruptly without a word, especially with the whole divorce and not being able to see his kids. He'd be thrilled. "So are you ready to come back on the team?"

Looking behind her, Olivia felt her breath hitch seeing Elliot walk into the bullpen, to her. He approached the new detective's desk and they seemed friendly, intimate even. She was laughing at something he said and he was resting a hand on her shoulder; things that they used to do together.

Olivia had a plan for tonight, come in, see Elliot, confess her feelings, and hope he'd reciprocate. But seeing him with her made Olivia realize something. He didn't deserve her. Dealing with the pain of his divorce, the horror they saw every day, Elliot needed someone without the emotional baggage she had. She loved him, and because of that she had to let him go.

Cragen watched as she shook her head. "Not just yet Cap. I need to deal with a few things, rest a bit before coming back. Living as a hippie for the last several months is not easy." Olivia chuckled.

"I can imagine. That's alright Olivia. Let me know when you're ready."

"Will do." Olivia smiled at her captain and headed for the back door.

"Wait Liv. Aren't you going to see Elliot?"

She looked back and saw him working at his desk across from the new detective. "He seems busy, maybe another time." With that she headed toward the elevator.

Sighing, Cragen plopped down in his chair. "When are those two going to learn some sense?" he muttered.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

"So how long do you think Victor's going away for?" Elliot heard his temporary Partner ask.

"We've got him dead to rights on the murders," he replied. "Judge'll probably sentence him to the max, consecutive sentences, 75 years to life."

"Couldn't have happened to a better person," Dani stated.

Elliot nodded, leaning back on his chair and stretching his arms. The case had been a rough one; they were all rough in one way or the other, but lately the job had been taking a greater toll on Elliot these days. He missed his kids, the last time he saw them being several months before. He talked with Maureen before, and there was the time where Kathleen screamed at him when he threw her boyfriend in jail, 'Brain dead slacker.' Aside from that, nothing.

However the worst thing had been Olivia leaving. In the nine years since they met, she had become his rock, more so than Kathy ever was. She had been by his side in his best and his worst moments, as he had been for hers. She was his partner and confidant, able to discuss problems that he could never approach anyone else with.

Everything that had happened in the last months had made Elliot realize something. When he told her that she and the job were all he had left, he meant it. She was his everything.

Elliot Stabler loved Olivia Benson.

When she left for the second time however, Elliot knew that it wasn't meant to be. She, the most amazing woman he ever had the pleasure of knowing deserved better than him, a divorced forty year old with only one relationship to his name that ended in failure. She deserved the world and he was not the person who could give it to her.

He still loved her though, missing the friendly moments they'd share together; getting coffee, enjoying Chinese food on her couch at ten PM, laughing at Munch's hilarious conspiracy theories. Most of all though he missed her smile, the smile coupled with the twinkling chocolate brown eyes that lit up a room. 'When are you coming back Liv? I miss you.'

"Elliot?"

"Huh?" he asked, Dani's voice pulling him out of his memories.

"I asked if you would like a drink? The case bummed me out and I could use one."

Would he like a drink? In the last several months since Gitano, alone without his kids and without Olivia, the once incorruptible Elliot Stabler had mostly sat in his new apartment and drank alone. The solitude was unwanted and the alcohol was the only thing that made it bearable. So would he like a drink? "Sure," he smiled at her. He could use a drinking buddy, and who knew? Elliot looked Dani up and down. She was an attractive woman, and since Liv and he would never happen there was nothing stopping him. He wanted to forget his feelings for a little while and here was Dani.

They strode to the elevator together and were about to enter when Dani remembered something. "Oh Elliot, this woman was looking for you earlier."

"Really?" Could it have been Kathy? "Blonde and tall?"

"No, she was a brunette, olive skin, and had brown eyes. She asked for you by name but when I told her you weren't here she went in to see the Captain. Funny, it seemed like the woman knew her way around here. Elliot?"

His mind was dead to the world right now, focused on one thing and one thing only. 'Olivia.' She had been here, at the precinct. She didn't even want to see him.

A dark, foreboding rage began to form in his gut. 'How dare she? How dare she not even come to see me after being gone for all this time?' Did he mean so little to her after all that time?

'We can't keep choosing each other over the victims,' his voice from so long ago rang through his head but Elliot didn't care. In the thousands of times he replayed the moment in his head, the moment in the station, Elliot knew he would have done the exact same thing. He would always choose Olivia because she meant everything to him, and that was why her betrayal tonight hurt so much. 'Fuck this, I'm not going to let this slide.' "Dani, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to take a rain check."

She looked a bit disappointed but shrugged it off. "That's alright. See you tomorrow Stabler."

"See you," he called back, running to the stairs and down three steps at a time. If Olivia wouldn't come to see him, then he was damn well going to go to see her.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Solitude, the old friend little missed but always making itself home. Sitting on her old, leather couch, feet tucked underneath her lap, and a glass of white wine in her hand, Olivia stared at the TV with a blank expression on her face. Normally when watching _Black Hawk Down_, her favorite movie of all time, she'd be engrossed in the intense combat and patriotism but now her mind was preoccupied.

Elliot, it all boiled down to Elliot. Sure, she had only realized her true feelings for him recently but Olivia had to admit they had been building for a while now. The connection had been there from the moment Cragen introduced her to the squad, apparent after gaining the highest case clearance rate in the department in only three short months. By last year they shared everything and were as close as platonic friends could be.

Then Gitano happened; it was one of those one and a million situations when a person's worst nightmares came true, taking that person and testing them to the limit. At the end, Elliot had basically come out and said that she was the most important person in his life, but what did she do? She ran to computer crimes and then to Oregon like a coward. What did the FBI need her for anyway? The people she was investigating weren't terrorists; deranged whackjobs definitely but not terrorists. She could have easily said no and stayed with Elliot. But she ran, ran away from her problems and feelings without even saying goodbye. Olivia was ashamed at herself, and knew that as much as she loved Elliot she couldn't be with him. For the unwanted, cowardly child of rape solitude was what she deserved.

A loud bang on the door to her apartment caused her to jump, heart palpitating. Was Mrs. Jacobs locked out of her apartment again?

"Liv! Damn it I know you're here! Open the door!"

"Elliot," she whispered to no one in particular. 'How did he find out?' The new partner, her replacement, must have told him and being the detective he was Elliot figured it out.

He wasn't letting up. "I'm not leaving till I see you so open the fucking door!"

She contemplated ignoring him until he gave up but she knew how stubborn he was. Also, part of her, hell all of her, wanted to see him; wanted to see his face after so long regardless of what his mood was. Rising off the couch, she plodded to the door, unlatched the dead bolt, and opened the door.

About to slam his fist on the door again, Elliot stilled himself when Olivia opened it. For a moment, all his rage disappeared as he gazed upon the woman he hadn't seen in three long months. She was dressed casually, shoulder length hair pulled up in a ponytail. Instead of the stylish blouses and jeans she normally wore she was in sweats and an NYPD t-shirt, his NYPD t-shirt. She was beautiful, even now.

However, that still didn't change the fact she hadn't cared enough to see him at all, the anger bubbling up again. "We need to talk Liv," he seethed, storming into the apartment.

Olivia had seen pissed-off Elliot before but never like this. On some level she understood but this was too much. No matter what happened he had no right to treat her this way. "What the hell Elliot? You have no right…"

"No, you have no right Liv!" he yelled, turning around to face her. "You come over to say hi to Cragen but not me? I thought I was your best friend!"

'Right to the point as always El.' "You are my best friend Elliot."

"Yeah right," he sneered, chucking dryly. "If I was you'd care enough to at least call. At least now I know how much I mean to you, so thank you for that."

Her eyes widened at his sarcastic snarl, jaw dropping. Yes she loved him, yes she felt guilty, but this was over the line. "You know what Elliot, fuck you! You think you're the only guy out there with problems, but you're not!"

"Oh yeah, Liv; you've got problems too, but you want to know something? Something that's the difference between you and me? I deal with them while you run away, run away from everything. You ran away from the job, ran away from your friends, ran away from me! Me! Your best friend without even a letter! Can you understand the pain I was in because of it?"

"Exactly El, it's all about you! You can't ever see things in anyone else's perspective at all!"

"I 'understand' your feelings just fine Olivia."

"No! You can't possibly understand El!" Olivia normally had steely control over her emotions but God this man knew which buttons to push. "Can you imagine what it's like? To care for someone with all your heart knowing that there can be nothing? No, you can't, there's no way."

"Yes I do."

She swiveled around, flabbergasted. 'What did he just say?'

His response was completely unexpected. Without warning Elliot closed the distance and slammed his lips against hers. Olivia gasped in shock, which Elliot took advantage by deepening the kiss. A moan escaped her before she could stop it, the rage turning into heated passion as she reciprocated, tongue's dueling with wild abandon.

Her brain was shutting down but Olivia didn't care; Elliot's lips were like magic, massively better than she imagined. Without thinking she grabbed the hem of his shirt and untucked it, running her hands along his bare back underneath it. She felt his hands cup her breasts through her t-shirt, causing a shudder of pleasure to course through her as she dug her nails into his well sculpted muscles.

They broke the kiss, panting and resting their foreheads against the other. "El," she answered.

Elliot was breathing heavily. "Yes Liv."

She looked into his eyes. "We need to talk," she told him, the anger forgotten.

Nodding, he took her hand in his and led her to the couch. They sat next to the other, only a foot separating them and hands clasped together. "I know what it's like Olivia," he whispered softly, staring into her eyes. "The truth is I've known for quite a while now since there is a person that fit's that mold. That person is you."

"El…"

"No, let me finish please. After that incident with Gitano, I was angry yes. Angry that I didn't save that poor boy. As a police officer it is my duty to protect the innocent but thinking back on it, there is nothing I would have done differently."

She stared at him, shocked beyond belief. Their entire argument, screaming at each other about keeping the victims first, he wouldn't change what happened? "Why?" she asked in a whisper.

He couldn't believe he was telling her this, the thing that he had kept hidden for so long. Elliot couldn't let her leave again however; if telling her even had a miniscule chance of keeping her in his life then he would do it and damn the consequences. "I'd do it again because you're everything to me. I can't do this job without you, hell I can't live without you. I… I… I love you Olivia."

What? He loved her? Olivia's breath hitched. "You love me?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation.

"But what about Kathy?"

"She and I are done Liv. The papers were sent to me a week ago."

"And my replacement?" she asked softly.

"Beck? She could never replace you Olivia."

"But, but…"

Knowing her like the back of his hand, Elliot leaned in and resumed their kiss. Both moaned in each other's mouths as Elliot snaked his arms around her waist while Olivia looped hers around his neck, tangling her hands in his hair.

"I love you too," she breathed. Elliot smiled and pulled her to him, enveloping her in his embrace. Olivia nuzzled his chest. "I'm sorry El."

"I'm sorry too Liv. I don't ever want to be away from you again."

She gave him a wide smile, her eyes darkening. "Then don't."

Elliot's eyes widened at her tone, low and seductive. "Are you sure?"

"We've waited too long already. Make love to me El."

With a growl Elliot grabbed her ass and lifted her into his arms, latching his lips to her neck and carrying her into the bedroom.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Several hours later, Elliot woke from a light doze, taking in the unfamiliar room. It scared and confused him for a moment until he heard a light breathing next to him. A smile formed across his face at the sight before him. Olivia was sleeping next to him on her stomach, her head resting on a pillow and her face turned toward him, serene in sleep. A blanket covered her up to her hips, the olive skin of her back illuminated by the soft moonlight. Almost instinctively, Elliot reached out and started stroking the column of her spine, loving the feel of her soft skin on his fingertips.

Opening her eyes, Olivia gazed upon him with a soft smile, the activities they had engaged in repeatedly in the preceding hours coming back to mind. She couldn't get enough of him. "Am I dreaming?" she whispered.

"Not at all baby," Elliot responded. "This is as real as it gets. You're stuck with me now."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she replied, leaning over to kiss him.

At that moment Elliot's phone began to buzz. Groaning, he reached for it and flipped it open. "Stabler. Dani what is it? When? Ok I'll be right over." Closing it, he slipped out of bed and began to dress.

"A case?" Olivia asked, trusting Elliot completely.

"Yep, our main witness was just kidnapped by a guy with a scar that matches our perp. Duty calls." Seeing the understanding on her face, Elliot smiled at her and kissed her one last time. "I'll be back Liv. Wait for me?"

"Always," she replied. "I love you El."

"I love you too Liv." With a grin and a wink he left the room.

Stretching languidly across the bed, she finally felt at ease. Olivia Benson was done running; she had everything she ever wanted now, and she'd be damned if anyone or anything would take it away from her.

**A/N: And there's the first fixed episode. Hope you guys liked it.**

**Just a note, these won't be smut-fics. I may put some in when it's warranted, but nothing more.**

**Please let me know what you think. I have many picked out but I would love to hear any requests :)**

**Next up: Above Suspicion. **

**God Bless**


	2. Above Suspicion

**A/N: Hello all. Here is the second installment of How it Should Have Been.**

**This was actually my first idea for a one shot, and it's a little challenging for me. The last one was merely manipulating the events while for this I have to create a few. I hope you enjoy it :)**

**Disclaimer: If the episodes presented do not match what you see on TV, then I do not own SVU.**

**A big thanks to my awesome beta Kilea08. If you haven't read her story Now and Forever, do so. Excellent EO.**

**Be sure to read and review Prey and Countdown :)**

**Enjoy and review :)**

Part Two: Above Suspicion

"Get up Cragen! You have a visitor," the burly guard said in a gruff tone, unlocking the cell. Don Cragen, former Captain of the 1-6 Manhattan Special Victim's Unit stood, shoulders slumped and a tired look on his face. Who would want to visit him?

He had lost his wife long ago and they had no children. Sure, he had received visits from Olivia, Nick, and the rest of the squad since his arrest for murder, all telling him that they were working day and night to vindicate him; however, the decorated cop had lost his hope for freedom. The evidence was stacked against him (hell, the dead girl was in his apartment with him sleeping next to her), he really had nothing to live for, and he was tired, so very tired.

The door to the visitor's room opened and the guard led Cragen in. "Station number seven, you know the drill. Thirty minutes."

Cragen sighed; what could Amaro or Rollins have to tell him that he didn't already know? Shuffling on weary feet, he passed the row of gangbangers and petty addicts talking to weepy relatives. 'Five, six, seven…' He froze upon seeing who his visitor was; someone he never expected to ever see again. Numbly sitting, he picked up the phone and stared at him through the glass. "Elliot?"

His former detective gave him a small smile. "Hey Cap." He looked as healthy and strong as always, but there was something about him; Cragen recognized it as the same demeanor he had, worn. 'What the hell happened to him?' Elliot glanced around at the surroundings. "Enjoying your new accommodations? Must be nice having a decent sleep schedule."

A chuckle escaped Cragen's lips; leave it to Elliot to wisecrack at a time like this. "It is, and the beds are actually more comfortable than the ones in the Cribs." He received a grin from the former detective, almost like old times.

They talked for a while about nothing in particular, Elliot listening patiently to tales of cases in the past year and Cragen smiling at how well the kids were doing. He wasn't surprised that Elliot hadn't gone back into Law Enforcement, having instead gotten a well-paying gig as a firearms instructor in Nassau County. The Jenna Fox case had been roughest on Elliot, as Cragen saw when last seeing him two days before he turned in his papers.

The conversation was going well but Cragen knew he had to bring up the Elephant in the room. It had to be said, not just for the two of them but for Olivia as well, the woman he saw as the daughter he never had. "Elliot, why did you leave?"

The animated look that Elliot had while recounting Eli's latest exploits quickly turned into a pained expression. "It's not an easy story to tell Cap," he said cryptically.

"Not an easy story?" Cragen's anger bubbled to the surface. "Do you know how this affected Olivia? The pain and heartbreak she carried with her every day? Your leaving almost destroyed her Elliot!" Cragen seethed through his gritted teeth.

Elliot averted his gaze. "She was better off with me gone." It came out as a whisper.

The older man stared at him. "What? Elliot, you and Olivia were like the kids I never had. I saw you two form a bond distinct from anyone I've ever seen. Think of it this way, if the shoe had been on the other foot, how would you have felt if Olivia left and never contacted you."

He was silent for a moment. "I would've died inside," he whispered. The next words out of his mouth surprised Cragen. "I… I love her Cap, I always have."

It had been obvious to him, but Cragen never thought either one of them would admit it. "I know you do Elliot, but why'd you leave?"

"I never wanted to Cap, you have to believe me. I was a mess after Jenna, descending into a deep, dark place in my life. Olivia didn't need to see me in that place. And then with Kathy's sickness…"

"Wait, Kathy was sick?"

"Cap, she passed away eight months ago." Cragen's jaw dropped, shocked beyond belief. "Stage four pancreatic cancer, she told me the day you came over; she was at the oncologist, her doctor referred her to him." He hung his head, obviously having a hard time with the memories. "Her only chance was an experimental treatment at Memorial Hermann in Houston, so I put in my papers and moved us and the kids down there. What little strength I had after Jenna was needed for that; I didn't want to do what I did to Olivia, but I had no choice."

Cragen sighed; he knew deep down that Elliot must've had a good reason for the lack of contact. It may not have been the right course of action but he knew Elliot would never have willfully abandoned Olivia. "I'm so sorry Elliot. Is everything alright with you and the kids?"

"Thanks Cap, they took it hard no doubt about it, but they've healed. Eli is living with me right now. Maureen is married to a Naval Officer and living in San Diego; Kathleen was accepted to Yale Law School and the twins are both at West Point."

"West Point? Not bad Elliot."

Elliot smiled. "Yep, the Army bug never left Dickie and, to my surprise, his sister got bit as well. I'm proud of all my kids, and it's because of them I'm here. Well, that and the fact I need to keep a promise I made to someone."

"To who?"

"To Kathy; on her deathbed she forced me to talk about everything, every secret I kept from her. Naturally the discussion centered on Olivia and I admitted that I loved her."

"What did she say?" Cragen inquired, wondering how Kathy handled the confession from her husband.

"Kathy was surprisingly ok with it. We talked for hours and realized that our entire marriage was there for the kids, both before Eli was born and after. We loved each other but not the same way I love Olivia. In her last words to me, Kathy made me promise to come back to New York and tell Olivia the truth, to be happy and give Eli a mom who loves him."

"So that's why you're here," Cragen stated. "Well then what are you doing in this hellhole talking to me? Go see her."

"I don't know what to say Cap. As you told me, I hurt her so much when I left."

"Listen Elliot." His own problems be damned, Cragen would not let petty fear keep the two people he most cared about in misery. If he could get them to admit their feelings and give them love, then he'd rot in jail a happy man. "She may be mad at you, hell I wouldn't blame her, but deep down Olivia loves you as well, trust me." He felt heartened when the man across from him nodded.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Manhattan was really the city that never slept. Even late at night the street was filled with traffic, albeit far less than during the daytime of course. Parked underneath a broken streetlight to avoid detection, Elliot stared at the lobby to the massive Upper East Side condo that housed Bart Ganzel. The place that Olivia was in at the moment.

Olivia. Closing his eyes, Elliot conjured up the brunette beauty in his mind. He hadn't seen her in nearly a year but her face was still fresh in his mind; the talk with Kathy really opened his mind, he spent countless nights thinking of when he actually fell in love with her. The feelings had been there since they met, but he'd have to say it had been Gitano that made him realize it. Seeing her with a cut on her neck, thinking she was dead nearly killed him inside. Elliot pushed her away then, following with her pushing him away by heading to Oregon. He was not going to lose her again.

He was nervous, deservedly so. Deciding to see her outside the precinct away from any meddling partners, he just had to keep himself together. There was no telling whether Olivia would welcome him or most likely punch him square in the face for leaving. At Cragen's suggestion he wrote everything down on a piece of paper, kind of like a speech in case he lost his nerve. 'Olivia will understand, she has to.'

Out of the corner of his eye, Elliot spotted two men, both African American, loitering near the NYPD issue sedan Olivia was driving. One of them began trying to unlock the car door with a wire; Elliot may have been off the force for a year but he knew grand theft auto when he saw it. One could take the man out of the department but never the department out of the man.

Stepping out, Elliot knew this was a bad idea but he just couldn't let this happen. "Hey! What the hell are you two doing?"

The two men froze at the sound of his voice, as strong and authoritative as it was in the past. One, the younger man, seemed scared at the unexpected development while the other simply got angry. "Ain't none of your business asshole. Get the fuck out of here!"

"It's my business as a citizen when someone commits a crime in my city, so get the fuck out of here before I call the cops!" He reached into his jacket to grab his registered M1911 Colt .45 handgun just in case.

Removing it, the last thing he saw was the older criminal draw a gun of his own before a bullet slammed into his chest.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

"Cass, are you sure you have everything under control?"

"Sure boss," Cassidy told Ganzel, who had been shuffling around the apartment in a panic. "Detective Benson here is one of the best officers in the NYPD. You'll be completely safe."

"Sometimes I forget you were once a cop." Ganzel turned around, his pudgy frame heading back into the apartment.

Olivia rolled her eyes. Every part of her despised the fact she was protecting a bag of slime like Bart Ganzel. However orders were orders. "I can't wait till this case is over," she remarked to Cassidy.

"You aren't the only one," he replied, smirking at her. "But it was nice working with you again Olivia."

She smiled at him. "It was nice working with you too. It's kind of like the good old days when it was me, Munch, you, Don, and…" her voice trailed off as she thought of him.

Cassidy looked at her sympathetically. "Don't worry Liv, I'm sure Cragen will be exonerated."

"Yeah, thanks," she murmured back, mind drifting as it was prone to do to one man, Elliot Stabler. God she missed him so much; even a year since he left and two new detectives in the squad couldn't make up for the pain and loneliness she suffered. 'Why Elliot? Why did you leave me?' Countless nights drinking in her apartment or lying in the cribs she asked that to no one but herself and yet receiving no answer. She tried so much to hate him for leaving, hate him for breaking her heart but she couldn't. Olivia loved him so much. He was as she said, the longest relationship she ever had with a man.

'Please God,' she silently prayed, 'Please just let him be happy. Please let Kathy make him happy wherever they are.'

"Liv, earth to Liv."

Olivia snapped out of her daze. "Huh?"

Chuckling, Cassidy leaned against the wall. "I was just asking about things."

"Ok," she said, not knowing where he was going with this. "What things?"

"Do you remember all those years ago? The time we shared?"

'Oh right.' To be fair Olivia had been smashed that night, so she didn't remember much. The parts she did remember were nice. "I do Brian."

"Well do you think we could give it another shot?"

"Brian," she began, "It wouldn't have worked out between us, you know that. Why do you think we didn't start dating all those years ago?"

He gave her a small smile. "I'm not the same person I was then. Do you think we could give it another shot?"

Olivia leaned back, her back against the wall thinking. Did she want to try again with Cassidy? She hadn't liked him that way all those years ago when they slept together, and there always had been another man in her heart. 'Elliot,' she thought. He was the man she desperately wanted to be with, the man who would always have her heart, but he was gone. 'Maybe I could still have someone.' As much as she wanted to wait for Elliot, she was more afraid of being alone for the rest of her life.

"Let me think about it Brian." The smile he gave her was nearly a mile wide.

At that moment, Ganzel came out with a small suitcase. "Ok, at least tell me that the hotel we're staying at has room service."

As they entered the lobby, Olivia heard the telltale signs of yelling on the street. "Bri, stay here," she warned, drawing her Glock 9mm. Then, the crack of a bullet pierced the din. She burst out on the street to see a man fall in the distance, another holding a gun at him. "Freeze! NYPD!" The man swiveled around and kept his gun up so Olivia put a round right between his eyes. He crumpled to the ground, the companion staring in shock. "Get down and put your hands on your head!"

A squad car arrived on scene. "NYPD!" said a young female officer.

"Detective Benson, SVU, get this guy in cuffs and get a bus over here!" she yelled, running to the fallen man. 'What the hell just happened.'

As he came into view, Olivia's heart stopped. "Elliot?" she breathed. "No, no, no! Get a bus!" she kneeled down, applying pressure to his chest. She couldn't believe he was here, and she was terrified that he'd die just when he came back. "El, El!"

"Liv," he croaked, sounding like he was fading away. "Is that, ugh, you?"

"Yes El, it's me. You're going to be fine," she comforted, clasping his hand with hers, tears falling from her eyes at seeing the man she loved hurt.

"Please Liv," he began guiding her hand to his jacket pocket. "Please read…" he trailed off.

"El!" she screamed just as the paramedics arrived and hauled him onto the stretcher. Pulling out her badge Olivia hopped onto the ambulance with him, screw her orders. Curious as to what he meant by read, she reached in, the other hand still clasped firmly to his, and pulled out a sheet of paper.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

For the majority of the day Olivia hadn't once left Elliot's room, staying by his bedside after coming out of surgery. The doctors said he'd make it but he still hadn't woken up; Nick had come by with Tucker to take her statement and inform her of what they dug up, something about Ganzel likely setting up the shooting to try and take down Cassidy, but what was Elliot doing there?

She lifted up the paper that Elliot had written her. Olivia couldn't believe all that he went through, Kathy dying, the depression, trying to start a new life in Long Island. But it was the last line that really stayed with her:

_What I've come to realize Olivia, is that the only reason I kept going all those years at the job was you. When I said that you and the job were all I had left, it was true. I love you Liv, I have for a long time. I know we've caused each other so much pain over the years, so if you want nothing to do with me I understand. However, even if I don't deserve it…_

Olivia couldn't read the rest; it only made her tear up. She couldn't believe it, couldn't believe after all these years that he had the same feelings for her that she did for him.

Something fluttered in her hand, causing her head to swivel to him. 'Did his finger move?' "El?" she said softly, leaning in. "El, if you can hear me please wake up; I can't lose you, please." A single tear left her eye, running down her cheek.

If Elliot had been lucid, he would have heard her voice, but coming off the anesthesia it was muted, sounding like an angel. 'Am I dead?' he asked himself, willing for his eyes to open but the lids were just so heavy. They fluttered a bit before finally opening slowly; the sight before him was so beautiful that it couldn't have been an angel. It could only be one thing.

"Liv?"

The angel above him smiled widely, tears of joy pooled in her eyes. "El," she quickly sprang into action when he tried to sit up. "Don't El. You need to stay on your back."

"What happened Liv?" he rasped, throat still sore.

"You were shot, happened to be in the wrong place in the wrong time." Olivia knew she had to explain about the case but now didn't seem like the right time.

"That's happened to me before," he quipped, "Usually Dana was there though." A laugh escaped Olivia, causing him to smile. He always loved to hear her laugh, rare that it was; with the job they dealt with the moments of happiness were fleeting and treasured. His gaze drifted to the sheet of paper in her hand and the smile disappeared. "I see that you, uh, read my speech Liv."

Her smile left too, though the look on her face was not of anger, but of empathy. "I did El. Why didn't you call me? I could have helped all of you through this."

"I know you could have Liv," he said slowly, the gunshot giving him great pain when talking too fast. "But you didn't deserve my problems. I couldn't burden you in that way."

"You were never a burden to me El. We were best friends; I love you, you should never have assumed that I wouldn't have wanted to help you. I care about you so much." She squeezed his hand, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Tears came to Elliot's eyes, causing him to turn his head. Then, something she said finally registered. "You loved me Liv?"

"No El, love, present tense." She stroked the side of his face with her thumb. "I have for so long and never stopped, that's why you leaving hurt me so much."

"I'm so sorry Liv. I wish I could go and take it all back. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you. What I said at the bottom of my speech is true, I love you too Olivia. I'm sorry I left, but I'm back and I want to start over, please."

Olivia averted her gaze downward. "I know you do El, but what if you abandon me again?" Most of her was screaming 'NOOO! Don't let him slip away again!' but she had to know. "I don't think I could survive you leaving a second time."

He reached out and clasped her hands in both of his, ignoring the slight pain. "I promise you Liv, I'm here to stay. I would rather die than hurt you again, so I'm asking you to give me a second chance. You don't have to say yes, and if you say no I won't ever bother you again, but please give me this chance."

She gazed into his eyes, the same pools of azure blue that always captivated her. In them she could see his love, his sincerity. Sure, she had many prospects, people who hadn't hurt her in the past like Cassidy, but her heart was with one man; the man lying right before her.

Elliot was about to give up when suddenly he felt warm lips press against his in a chaste kiss. It was everything he ever dreamed of and more, his Olivia kissing him for the first time. They both knew that this wasn't the time to go any further, so they simply enjoyed this moment. "So is that a yes Liv?" he asked when they broke apart, a hopeful smile on his face.

"That is a yes El," Olivia replied, smiling as well. "But if you hurt me again Stabler, I'll have the squad hunt you down and castrate you." The look in her beautiful brown eyes was deadly serious.

"Don't worry, I'll never hurt you again." They sat there for God knows how long, content to stare at each other when Elliot spoke up. "Stay with me Liv."

The meaning was understood, but Olivia was having doubts. "But what about your injury?"

"Don't care. I've been without you for so long; I need this Liv, please?"

She could never say no to him. Carefully, she slid next to him in the hospital bed, wrapping her arms around his waist and nestling her head on his shoulder. At that moment, both knew that it felt right.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

"And here we are baby, our abode by the beach," said Elliot, plopping their suitcases on the carpeted floor.

Following behind, Olivia glanced about the small, one room bungalow with a huge smile on her face. "Oh my God El, it's beautiful."

"You're right, it is." She turned around to see him staring at her, a smug smirk on his lips. Olivia blushed at the comment, causing Elliot to laugh and take her in his arms. "Merry Christmas Liv."

"Mmm," Olivia snuggled into his chest. "Merry Christmas to you too El." She was still not used to the romantic side of Elliot Stabler, though she wasn't complaining a bit. Since the day at the hospital he had done nothing but try to sweep her off her feet, fancy dinners, picnics in Central Park, rides at Coney Island, and for Christmas a week-long getaway to the Bahamas. After dealing with a priest child-molestation case it was a welcome respite from the job. "Thank you so much."

"You're saying that as if it's a chore. Seeing the smile on your face is enough for me."

She felt silly for admitting it but her heart swooned. The last six months had been the best in Olivia's life. She and Elliot hadn't had the same connection they did at work, but a new, better one had taken its place. Things had gone a bit fast, what with moving in with him after two months and how quickly little Eli had taken to her as a mom (she was happily surprised that her connection with the little boy hadn't diminished over the year with no contact), but Olivia didn't mind. She was finally happy after an entire life of heartbreak, all thanks to this wonderful man.

Her mind went back to the Thanksgiving dinner she had with the entire Stabler clan: Maureen and her husband, Kathleen and her boyfriend, the twins in their cadet uniforms from West Point, and even Elliot's mother from New Jersey. All had accepted her into the family as readily as Elliot and Eli did. It felt wonderful being part of a close knit family.

"So Elliot," she said after breaking their embrace and gazing at the sunny beach. "Now that we're here what do you want to do? I was thinking we could have a walk on the beach… Oh my God!"

Turning around, Olivia found Elliot on one knee, looking up at her with a determined but slightly nervous look on his handsome face. "Liv, the last six months have been the best of my life. I love you more than I could ever put into words. God knows I never deserved a second chance from you, but I will thank Him every day that you gave me one." Both their faces were covered in tears when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black box. "I love you Olivia Benson, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He opened it to reveal a half carat diamond on a simple gold band. "Will you marry me?"

Hands clasped to her mouth, Olivia was speechless. 'He asked me to marry him. He asked me to be his wife.' "Oh God," she choked out, not bothering to stop the sobs that were coming. "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes!" she yelled with joy, yanking him up and crashing her lips to his. The two lost themselves in the kiss, pouring the passion and love of the last twelve years into it. "I love you so much El," she breathed after they broke the kiss, both panting.

"I love you too Liv," he replied. "In all my dreams I never thought you'd say yes."

"Don't be silly El," she told him, cupping his cheek with the hand now sporting a sparkling diamond. "There is nothing in the world I would rather be than Mrs. Olivia Stabler."

To Elliot, no three words ever sounded so beautiful to him.

**A/N: So there we have Above Suspicion. I hope you liked the not-so-subtle jab at the writers I threw in there regarding Liv's Christmas vacation ;)**

**I wrote this from memory so some of the dialogue might not have been the same. I didn't enjoy writing a nice Cassidy (anyone who reads my stories knows that I love to bash him more than any other SVU character), but I was trying to be realistic.**

**Next up: Annihilated**

**Please review, and don't forget to check out my other stories, Prey and Countdown.**

**God Bless**


	3. Annihilated

**A/N: Hello all. Here is the third installment of How It Should Have Been.**

**For this one I'm going in a slightly different direction. This chapter's timeline will be part of a two-shot with the episode Pursuit being the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoy the first smut scene of the series.**

**Just remember, the scene where he sleeps with Kathy is before they found out Royce was a murderer.**

**Disclaimer: If the episodes presented do not match what you see on TV, then I do not own SVU.**

**A big thanks to my awesome beta Kilea08. If you haven't read her story Now and Forever, do so. Excellent EO.**

**Regarding the crash of the site last Saturday, I don't know about you guys but it kind of ruined my reading over the weekend. So for any of you who didn't, please read and review Prey and Countdown. Any opinion you guys have is greatly appreciated :)**

**Enjoy and review :)**

Part Three: Annihilated

The night was a calm one; the moon was a mere sliver in the sky, the stars bright and twinkling on the black backdrop that was almost like a blanket over the earth. For Elliot Stabler however, this night was anything but calm. After having caught the Royce case, one that ended in a double murder/attempted murder/suicide where two of the victims were children, he couldn't help the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He needed to see his kids, the only persons who could calm him on this night.

Hands gripping the steering wheel as tight as possible, he pulled into the driveway of his former house in Little Neck, Queens. Surprisingly though, the house was completely dark, not a single light shining through the windows. Puzzled, Elliot exited the car and headed for the front door. 'Maybe everyone's asleep? It's 10:30, so it is possible.'

Taking out his spare key, Elliot opened the front door and turned off the incessant chirping of the alarm. "Hello?" he called into the darkness. "Kathy? Kids?" Worried, he bounded upstairs to look around. No one was home; the beds were all made, the lights turned off, and some of the clothes in the dressers missing as if they had gone on a trip.

This made no sense. Kathy never told him about any trip. Grabbing the phone off the table next to the bed, his and Kathy's former bed, Elliot placed a call to his ex-wife's cell phone. It rang for a few seconds before she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Kathy. Where are you?"

"Elliot? What are you doing at home? You don't live there anymore."

The frustration of the case, coupled with not being able to see his kids caused the anger to just boil out. "What do you mean I don't live here! It's my fucking house! Where are the kids?"

"Don't take that (tone) with me Elliot," Kathy hissed back. "Besides, I don't think you spent that much time at the house to say you lived there!"

"Answer the God damned question! Where are my kids?" Elliot hissed right back at her, wanting an answer and not backing down.

"I took them to my parent's house for the weekend. Their grandparents missed them."

"What! You did this without telling me first? I'm their father! What if I missed them?"

He heard her scoff. "Well, where was that attitude over our entire marriage Elliot?"

"I had to work Kathy…"

"Whatever Elliot. I'm too tired to have this argument again. Goodnight." The phone disconnected with a click.

The anger subsided, replaced with a feeling of deep sadness. Elliot hung his head in his hands on the bed. Where could he go?

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

The dull sound of a rapping on her door caused Olivia to wake from her light sleep. She raised her head and immediately groaned, her neck aching. 'Fell asleep on the couch again.' That was happening increasingly common these days, not wanting to sleep alone night after night in her queen-sized bed.

Stretching her arms in the air and cracking her back, Olivia grabbed her Glock service automatic and made her way to the door (better to be safe than sorry after all). Reaching the front door, she peered out the peephole.

"Elliot?" Unlatching the deadbolt, she opened the door. "What are you doing here? It's after One AM." When Olivia looked directly at him, she gasped; he seemed so… broken.

"I didn't know where else to go," he whispered softly, not at all resembling the hotheaded Detective Stabler she was used to. "Can I come in?"

"Of course El," she told him, wrapping her arm around his waist and leading him inside (being sure to shut and lock the door). "What kind of question is that? You're my best friend, you're always welcome." They sat on the couch, Olivia facing him while Elliot just stared at the wall grimly. "Elliot?" she asked, worried about him.

He turned and looked intently at her, causing Olivia to gasp softly. Elliot's eyes, normally twinkling with cocky self-confidence or dark with anger were listless, the azure blue faded. "For Christ's sake Elliot, what's the matter with you?" she croaked, her heart breaking at his mood.

Shrugging, her partner moved his gaze back to the wall, slumping back into the couch. "Everything," he whispered (so softly that Olivia almost didn't hear him). "The case today… my family…"

"What about your family El?" Olivia asked him, knowing that he was bottling everything up. He did it all the time, like back when he and Kathy were first going through problems. He'd crash in this apartment, not saying what happened and Olivia never pressing him even though she wanted to. 'Well not this time,' she thought. He needed to let it out. "El, please don't internalize anything, talk to me. I'm your best friend; you can tell me anything. I won't ever judge you." Comfortingly, she reached out and patted his shoulder, hoping the gesture of affection would bring him out of his shell.

It was that simple gesture, a simple act of caring that did it for Elliot. For all his life he had created walls between himself and the people he cared about, keeping his family from his job and his inner feelings from everyone. The former was about protecting his kids and his wife from the horrors of the job but they no longer cared about him. The latter was thanks to the crappy childhood curtesy of his controlling father and eccentric mother, for suppressing everything was easier than dealing with the pain. And when those walls burst they burst.

"I have nothing anymore Olivia."

Olivia furrowed her brows, confused. "What do you mean Elliot? Of course you do."

"No Liv, I don't."

"What could have happened to make you think this way?" she asked. The last time she had ever seen him like this was after Gitano, and that had been a soul crushing moment that nearly destroyed them both.

"This case, Royce lost his whole family tonight, killed in the blink of an eye. Can you imagine that? Losing everyone you care about?"

Her mind flashed to that day in the warehouse, seeing the shotgun pressed to his head with that monster's finger hovering over the trigger. "I think so," she croaked out.

"Well I did, I kept imagining the faces of the victims were my own children, gruesomely dead like that." What he didn't have the heart to tell her was that instead of Kathy's face he imagined Olivia's, the same as her face in the bus station only lifeless. "I needed to see my kids, at least just to tell them I loved them."

She was about to say something when he chuckled darkly, the kind of laugh when someone either could laugh or cry.

"But they weren't home. Kathy took them to her parent's house without even telling me."

"How could she do that!" Olivia shouted, suddenly feeling angry at Kathy. "You're their father damn it!"

"No Liv," he responded, shaking his head. "They wouldn't want me there even if they were home." At her puzzled look he continued. "My kids hate me Olivia, they all hate me. They blame me for the divorce."

"Your kids don't hate you Elliot, how can you say that?"

"Because it's true. They finally got tired of my actions after Kathy pulled the plug on our marriage, sick of how I never had any time for them; hell, the last time I talked to them was weeks ago. Maureen barely speaks to me, Kathleen hates my guts, and I barely see Lizzie and Dickie anymore so I can only assume they feel the same way. And the worst part, it is my fault. I do this to everyone I've ever cared about. My kids, Kathy, my mother." Olivia was near tears at how broken he sounded, how it felt like he was this close to breaking down completely and crying his eyes out. "I still don't know why you don't hate me as well. After Gitano I wouldn't blame you for it."

She couldn't let him think that, she just couldn't. He was the most amazing man Olivia had ever known and it killed her to see him feel that way. Without speaking, she pulled him into her arms, resting his head on her shoulder and stroking his back softly. Feeling him tense, Olivia spoke softly to him. "Let it out El, just let it out."

Soon, she felt his tears on her shirt; he wasn't sobbing uncontrollably, more like a soft trickle as she continued to soothe him. Olivia didn't care if this was going over the line. As long as this helped Elliot, she was willing to do it.

Once the tears stopped, she pulled away and looked him straight in the eye. "Listen to me Elliot Stabler. You are a good man, a man who deserves the best life has to offer. I know your kids do not hate you but that is a discussion that you need to have with them. However, I can tell you this; whenever you think that you have nothing remember this. I am always there for you. No matter what you say to me or what I say to you I will always be there. You can come to me for anything Elliot Stabler because I care about you, more than you could ever know.

They sat silently for a few minutes, gazing into each other's eyes. Then Elliot lurched forward and hugged her. "Thank you Liv," he whispered, emotion in his voice. "I care about you too, so much."

She smiled and lost herself in his embrace. "No need to thank me El. I'm happy to do it." They hugged for a moment before pulling away, looking at each other.

Neither one knew who made the first move, but the next thing they knew their lips were touching in a soft kiss. While a rational part of her mind was telling her to stop, Olivia ignored it and gave in to the feelings that had been building since they met, looping her arms around his neck and pulling him in.

Elliot's brain was short circuiting; she felt so good, much better than his fantasies. He knew that this wasn't proper but he couldn't help himself. Cupping his cheeks with his hands, he ran a tongue on her lower lip, begging entrance which was given. Moaning, he gently laid her down underneath him on the couch, stroking her sides softly.

'Oh God,' she thought, his touches over her t-shirt sending shocks though her body. Wanting – no needing – to feel him as well, she reached up and began unbuttoning his dress shirt. Suddenly he stopped, breaking away from her lips and looking away with shame. "El?"

"I should go," he said, not able to look her in the eye. Elliot began to pull away.

Olivia stopped him, grasping his shoulder firmly. When his eyes met her's she said, "No, stay. Please."

His heart skipped a beat at her words. "Are you sure?"

"Yes El," she nodded. "I'm sure."

A tear slipping from his eye, Elliot lifted her in his arms, carrying her bridal style to the bedroom. He deposited her on the bed and climbed on top of her.

She kissed him, picking up where they left off. Olivia wanted him, wanted him to hurry up and ease the growing ache between her legs but she knew that wasn't what he needed. Elliot wasn't feeling loved so she had to show him different. Pulling off his shirt, Olivia ran her hands down his chest and stomach, feeling herself growing wetter at how muscular he was.

Elliot groaned as he hands caressed him. Biting her lower lip, he moved his lips to her neck and started sucking on the skin behind her ear, her purrs of contentment driving him on. Slowly, he kissed and nipped his was down to her jawline and then lifted her shirt up and tossed it to the side, eyes widening as he noticed she wasn't wearing a bra. "You're so beautiful Liv," he husked, ghosting over her nipples. They were the epitome of perfection, round and supple with the dusky peaks contrasting well with the olive skin around them. Cupping them in his hands, he began to knead erotically, going by pure instinct.

Olivia blushed and moaned, arching into his touch. His hands were like fire on her skin, giving her more pleasure now than any one of her lovers had in the past. Taking advantage of his preoccupation elsewhere, she flipped him over on his back, straddling him. He gazed up at her, their eyes boring in on the others. "Let me El," she whispered, kissing him softly. At his nod Olivia began divesting them of their clothes, sensually but comfortingly as well, placing gentle kisses on every inch of his exposed skin. She bit her lip when his package came to view; Olivia had imagined it long and thick but those images in her head didn't do him justice.

Feeling his erection grow even harder at her hungry gaze, Elliot reached forward and grabbed her hips. "Please Liv, I need you."

She looked at him, realizing that beyond the lust was the need for intimacy, the need to give himself fully to another person and not have his heart crushed afterwards. Olivia fought back tears at that; this man was too wonderful to deserve such a hard life; he deserved nothing but love and happiness. Leaning forward, she nuzzled his nose with hers and smiled at him. "And you'll always have me," she said, guiding herself onto his member.

The motions were slow and passionate, their mouths never leaving the other except when Elliot broke the kisses to suckle her breasts, a move that Olivia did not complain about. Their moans, pants, and purrs grew louder and louder as the pleasure built in their abdomens, Elliot thrusting harder and Olivia tightening around him. Pulling her down, Elliot nipped Olivia's neck and pushed upward, hitting a sensitive spot from a new angle. Olivia's eyes rolled back, feeling her climax coming. Gritting her teeth, she looked into his eyes, her near blacks meeting his navy ones.

Seeing the care and lust in her eyes sent Elliot over the edge. He thrust into her, grunted, and shot inside her with the most intense pleasure of his life.

The feel of his seed inside her caused Olivia to let go, the intensity of her release shocking even her. She let out a wordless gasp as she came around his shaft, Elliot's continuing thrusts prolonging the greatest feeling she had ever experienced.

They collapsed in a tangled heap of limbs and hair, Olivia resting on top of Elliot. She nuzzled into his chest, breathing in his scent. He did the same to her hair.

Elliot needed to tell her, the three words he longed to tell Olivia since they first met, "Liv I…"

Olivia needed to tell him, the three words she desired to spill out from the moment she saw him, "El I…"

Just then, their phones rang, bringing them back to reality.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

She paced outside the courtroom, nervous as could be for Elliot. Olivia remembered the vow Darius Parker made in the squadroom so long ago to destroy each and every one of the SVU detectives but it still didn't prepare her for what had happened. 'That little fuck!' she thought, her fists clenching. Parker and his weasel of a lawyer had dug up Kathleen's old drunk driving incident and used it against Elliot. He'd been through so much and now this happened.

The door to the judge's chambers opened and out came Elliot, a deep frown on his face. "El," she breathed, running to him and enveloping him in a friendly hug. In the month since their time together they hadn't been intimate again but much to her relief their relationship hadn't much suffered. Elliot was still her close friend; she was helping him patch the relationships with his kids and they even went on a few dates, but something was holding them back. In Olivia's mind they had been partners for so long it was hard to change into something more, even though she wanted to desperately.

However, there was another reason; deep down, Olivia was afraid that Elliot had only slept with her that night for solace, not out of love as she had. It would crush her if it were true, and things might be for the best to (just) let it go and keep their friendship.

"Donnelly recused herself, and is ordering Kathleen rearrested for DUI."

Sighing, she stoked his back softly. Her stomach was churning at the moment, probably from all the stress. "It'll be alright El. She's strong." In the past few weeks thanks to Olivia's urging the two had made up and were closer than ever (it hadn't taken as much work with the others, who were more than happy to forgive and forget).

"Ah, that's what I miss the most about being a cop." Both of them broke the embrace to see Parker's attorney smiling at them. "The friendship, the brotherhood, like a family; that's what this trial is about, family."

"No counselor," Olivia seethed, her anger at him for attacking Elliot today getting the better of her. "This trial is about your scumbag client and the people he murdered."

"My client had no one growing up; forgotten by his mother, abused by his grandfather, he didn't have the sense of family needed for a decent life."

"Oh yeah," she countered, brushing off a small queasy feeling in her gut. "Tell that to the victim who he stabbed a dozen times in the cervix or to the baby who…" Olivia stopped suddenly, a feeling of nausea overpowering her. Covering her mouth, she bolted for the bathroom so as not to vomit in the middle of the courthouse.

"Liv!" she heard Elliot call behind her.

Later that night, she sat on her toilet, staring at the stick in front of her. A tear rolled softly down her cheeks. What should she do?

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

The case was falling apart, that Elliot knew. When one had been in law enforcement for the time he had you had a sixth sense about these things; Casey was making one last run at Teresa Randall for her testimony but Elliot wasn't hopeful.

And then there was his personal dilemma; he closed his eyes and drifted off into a daydream, remembering the night almost a month before. 'Olivia.' God, he missed her desperately despite the fact they were together most of the time. She was the most amazing woman he had ever known, pulling him out of his hell and fixing his relationship with his kids. All of his good luck over the past month he owed it to her, and for that reason he hated himself. All Elliot had to say were three little words, but every time he tried to he chickened out like a coward. 'Olivia deserves the world, and I'm too frightened to give it to her.' Joe Stabler was laughing in his grave and saying "I told you so pansy."

Maybe it was for the best; she needed someone better than he could ever be.

"Elliot."

He glanced upward, opening his eyes to see Olivia standing there, her eyes red from crying and her usual olive skin pale. "Liv, are you ok?" Everyone looked at her, wondering what was going on.

Olivia shook her head. "We need to talk, please." He nodded and led her to the cribs, away from prying eyes. "Elliot, I know we've agreed to play it cautiously from what happened a month ago…"

"Because our friendship is more important, I know Liv," he finished for her, unsure of where his partner was going with this.

"You said long ago that I and this job were all you had left in this world." Elliot couldn't stand it; the strong and powerful Olivia Benson was on the verge of breaking down. "I knew you needed your space to fix your life after what happened but something came up, something too big to ignore."

"What are you…"

"Elliot, I'm pregnant," she blurted out, needing to say it not only for him but for herself too.

He stared at her, eyes wide and jaw slack. "Pregnant?"

"Yes El, I'm sure I am. I know we're not in a relationship and I don't want to force you into anything, but I had to tell you for…" She was cut off by his lips on hers. Olivia was stunned initially but soon succumbed to his passion. God she had missed this.

After nearly a minute they pulled apart for air, Elliot resting his forehead on hers. "We're having a baby?" When she nodded breathlessly he smiled, nearly splitting his face in half. He had for the last month been wondering what to do, but this was as if God had given him a sign. He knew now what path he needed to take and was ecstatic. "I'm so happy."

It was her turn to be stunned. "You are?"

"Yes Olivia. I love you so much. I didn't think I deserved you but never doubt that I don't love you."

"Oh El. I love you too." Both smiling now, they leaned in for another kiss, losing themselves in each other. Times might not be easy going forward, but they both knew that they'd be facing the struggles together.

**A/N: Ok, that's part one of the two-part timeline. I wanted to show Elliot a bit vulnerable here, but I believe it is in character. Even tough guys like him have a breaking point, and as a man myself I know how devastating a lack of intimacy can be.**

**Next up: Paternity.**

**Be sure to check out Countdown and Prey :)**

**God Bless**


	4. Paternity

**A/N: Hello all. Here is the fourth installment of How It Should Have Been.**

**We now get to the second half of the Annihilated/Paternity timeline. I think you will be pleasantly surprised with what happened in between the two eps. I will be focusing on the EO relationship stuff rather than the case; if I don't mention anything assume everything else is the same.**

**Disclaimer: If the episodes presented do not match what you see on TV, then I do not own SVU.**

**A big thanks to my awesome beta Kilea08. If you haven't read her story Now and Forever, do so. Excellent EO.**

**Oh, one last thing. Prey will be updated tomorrow, the first chapter in my new, condensed format. It'll be a much easier read but will pack just as big a punch ;)**

**Enjoy and review :)**

Part Four: Paternity

There was no better feeling in the job than reuniting a child with his parent. As an SVU detective, moments like that were rare and Elliot Stabler learned to make the most of it. The young boy had refused to leave his side until the dad had come in, and he was exhausted. Plopping down at his desk while Fin and Lake took the statement, Elliot had just closed his eyes for a moment when his cell rang.

Groaning, Elliot picked it up and flipped it open. "Stabler."

"Well, well," husked the voice on the other end. "Is this the same detective who was on the news this morning? I must say his voice is far sexier in person."

A small smile spread across Elliot's face upon hearing his wife's voice. "Hey beautiful. How is everything?"

"Everything is fine El," Olivia told him, chuckling. "Baby Stabler misses his daddy."

"Well tell baby Stabler that daddy misses him too." Elliot remembered the day they found out about his son like it was yesterday. He had gone through three pregnancies before but this was his first one with Olivia, and he enjoyed her fascination and awe with the entire experience.

"Mommy misses daddy as well."

"Don't worry Liv, I'll be home tonight. Don knows my nine month pregnant wife on maternity leave needs me. So how are the other kids?"

He heard Olivia chuckle over the line. "Well, with Lizzie and Dickie home for the summer things are never boring."

"So where are the two right now?"

"Kathy took them to get their driver's licenses."

"I thought it was our week to have them?" After their wedding they had reopened the custody issue. An arrangement had been worked out with Kathy to alternate weeks, allowing Elliot to see more of his kids than at any time during the divorce.

He heard her huff indignantly. "Elliot, you can't honestly expect me to take them? I'm like a bloated whale!"

Elliot chuckled at her tone. "Don't say that baby. You're beautiful to me no matter what."

The line was silent for a few seconds. "Damn it El, why do you always know the right things to say?"

"Because I love you and know you like the back of my hand," he smirked.

That fact was a two way streak however. "Wipe that cocky smirk off your face Stabler," she giggled, failing to sound angry. "I'll see you tonight handsome."

"Can't wait Mrs. Stabler." No matter how many times he said it, the two words never ceased to bring a smile to his face.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

If one could use the words "Happiest woman on Earth" to describe Detective Olivia Stabler, that person wouldn't be far off the mark. "Ooh," she squeaked, setting down the bowl of pasta on the kitchen counter. Her son was kicking up a storm, her hand drifting down to her bump, wedding band sparkling in the light.

A content look graced her face as she felt her child swimming and kicking inside her. Ever since she had told Elliot she was pregnant Olivia's life had been a dream come true. In a small ceremony at Elliot's church involving Elliot's kids (who were all excited at having her and a new sibling in the family) and their friends five months ago they had been married. When remarking to Elliot that it was happening pretty fast, he had retorted that technically they had been dating for the last ten years. Olivia giggled at the memory. 'Classic Elliot.' God, she loved him so much.

"Hey there baby boy," Olivia cooed, rubbing her belly. "Mommy loves you so much, but do you mind settling down for me?" She was answered with a responding kick to her open palm.

"Is my baby _brother_ acting up again?" Dickie asked as he and Lizzie entered the kitchen. Ever since they found out the baby's gender Dickie had never stopped bringing it up, excited to not be the only boy in the family anymore.

"Yeah, stubborn to a fault just like his father," Olivia remarked.

"Oh come on," said a deep, masculine voice, two strong arms wrapping around her waist and a set of warm lips on her neck. "You love that about me and you know it."

Olivia melted as her husband caressed the baby bump as he was in the habit of doing. "I love everything about you El," she whispered, tilting her head and meeting him for a kiss.

"Ugh! God!" the twins sputtered. "There are children present you know," Lizzie scolded them while Dickie made gaging sounds.

Elliot glared at his kids. "Go set the table already." Once the two left the couple laughed. "Teenagers."

"You have to love them anyway," Olivia responded, pecking him on the cheek and half-walking, half-waddling out. Grinning, Elliot slapped her on the ass causing a yelp and a glare from her.

"I love being able to do that whenever I want now, among other things," he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Cocky bastard," Olivia muttered, though she secretly loved it.

"So kids," Elliot brought out in the middle of dinner, just the four/five of them (Maureen was living with her boyfriend while Kathleen was on a beach trip with friends). "How did your driving tests go today?"

"We both got our license," Lizzie told him.

"That's great. Yet another milestone for you two. Next thing we'll know you'll be graduating college."

"Thanks dad; we wish you were there Livvy."

"If I wasn't on bed rest I would be. I'm proud of you two." The two teenagers preened at their stepmother's praise. "So Elliot, are you excited about taking me to my last visit to Dr. Sutherland before the baby is born?"

"It's the last visit?" asked Dickie, eyes wide. "Does that mean my _brother_ is coming soon?" Elliot suppressed a chuckle while Lizzie rolled her eyes.

"The baby is due next week Dickie, but he could show up any day now. Your sister Kathleen was a month early if I recall correctly, right El?"

"Right Liv, but about the appointment, I'm on call."

Olivia's face fell. "El," she sighed dejectedly.

"I'm sorry Liv," he replied, feeling terrible for not being with her. "You know how the job is."

"I know El, but how am I going to get there?"

"You know what Livvy, I could take you," Lizzie stated. "I'd be happy to."

"Whoa sis," Dickie interjected. "If anyone is taking Liv it's me."

"Excuse me? What could possibly make you better?" Olivia and Elliot shared a look, trying to fight laughter.

"Well, just the fact that I'm a better driver than you are."

"Oh please, you got five points higher on the test than me. That has no statistical difference."

"That's what people say when they know they've been beat," Dickie grinned, a mirror image of his father at that moment.

Elliot leaned over, his mouth hovering over Olivia's ear. "Dress rehearsal for motherhood Liv. Soak it all in." She swatted him playfully on the arm as their kids continued to argue.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Rubbing the back of his head, Elliot sighed deeply. Even though Jake Keegan had murdered his wife Elliot felt sympathy for him, fearing the loss of his son to an adulterer. Sometimes the law was just so messed up; if his and Olivia's child wasn't his…

No, he shook his head. Elliot trusted Olivia implicitly; he loved and respected his wife so much as she did him. If she said the baby was his then the baby was his.

Speak of the angel… his phone began to ring. "Stabler," he answered huskily.

"Oh El," a fake falsetto piped out. "I love you so much."

Hearing the incessant laughing over the line, Elliot rolled his eyes. "Not funny Dickie."

"Olivia and Lizzie would have to disagree with that statement."

"So what's up?"

"Well dad, it's just that _I'm_ taking Liv and Lizzie to the doctor's office since _I'm _definitely the better driver, right sis?"

"Shut up," Lizzie huffed in the backseat.

"She's a sore loser isn't she dad?"

"Give me the phone," Olivia said amused. "He won a coin toss El; it's moments like this that I know he's your son."

"I resent that," Elliot heard Dickie say.

"So how are you baby?"

"Doing well. Your other son is quiet today."

"Getting one last day of relaxation before getting evicted I see." He laughed at his own joke.

"Ha ha," Olivia stated. "Anyway, remember the deal we had about you naming a girl and me naming a boy?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I have the perfect name picked out." All the Stablers were listening to this. "I think the perfect name would be…"

At that moment a Corvette smashed right into the passenger side of Elliot's sedan, knocking the three occupants out. Since the phone was untouched, Elliot could hear the crunching of metal followed by silence. "Liv! Dickie! Lizzie! No no no!"

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

"Dickie! Dickie!"

Dickie Stabler's eyes fluttered open to the screams of his sister when the pain rushed to his head. "Agh! Shit!"

"Oh thank God you're ok," Lizzie said, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. The driver's side airbag had kept him out of much harm, and Lizzie was basically untouched except from a massive bruise from the seatbelt.

"What the fuck happened?" he asked, still a bit disoriented. Soon though, the smell and pain sobered Dickie up. "We were in a car crash," he mused. "Shit, Liv!"

"How's Olivia?" Lizzie asked frantically. "I can't really see from here!"

"Liv, Liv," he shook her, but with no response. "She's unconscious! Liv!"

A pounding on the door startled them. "Lizzie? Dickie? Are you guys alright?"

"Uncle Fin, thank God! Get us out of here!"

"The fire department is coming as quickly as possible, just hang on." Fin turned to his partner. "What the hell caused this?"

Chester was standing by the Corvette, pulling out a rumpled driver who was shaky but not any worse for wear. "He smells like a liquor cart."

"Jesus Christ," muttered Fin.

Right then, the twins noticed Olivia moaning. "Livvy?"

Olivia slowly opened her eyes. "Wha… what?"

"Livvy, stay with us. We crashed but you're going to be fine."

The detective was a bit woozy but then felt a gush of wetness down her legs. "Oh God," she moaned.

"What? Liv, are you ok?!" Dickie panicked, hearing her moans.

"The baby's coming!" Lizzie and Dickie shared a look of fright as the fire department pulled up.

"Ok guys," Fin told them through the broken driver's side window. "They're going to get the Jaws of Life, hold on."

The firemen and paramedics ran to the shattered sedan, taking up positions. One took an ax and smashed the rear window open. "Youse guys ok down there?" one asked in a thick Brooklyn accent.

"We're fine," answered Lizzie. "But our stepmom is in labor with our baby brother."

"Fuck," he muttered. "Listen, I'm going to give you a few safety blankets. Keep them over your heads and make sure your stepmother doesn't do anything sudden, it could damage the baby." Complying, suppressing their fear and stress for Olivia and the baby, the twins draped the blankets as two burly firemen brought the Jaws of Life. "Hold on!" Powerful enough to cut through steel as if it were paper, the firemen began to slice away to roof of the car.

"Stay with us Liv, you're going to be alright."

"Dickie, the baby," Olivia kept murmuring, fright in her voice. "What if I lose him?"

"You're not going to lose your son Livvy," Lizzie yelled over the noise. "You're a Stabler now; we're fighters."

Lifting the roof off, the firemen swarmed the car. "Ok kids, step out of the car while I get Detective Benson," said one, using a knife to cut off her seatbelt. "One, two, three!"

"Ahhhh!" Olivia cried out in pain, the contractions and the injuries combining to nearly debilitate her. "The twins…" she choked out. "Ride with me."

"Got it Liv," Fin said, by her side. "Lizzie, Dickie! Get in the ambulance with Olivia."

Stepping inside, the two sat on opposite sides of Olivia, each holding one hand. "Think about it Livvy," soothed Lizzie. "Soon you and dad will hold your new baby in your arms."

Olivia's response was a loud scream.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Elliot charged into the hospital, eyes wild and breathing heavily. He had just driven all the way from the Catskills with the sirens on, not even stopping for gas. His wife and children needed him. "Are you alright sir?" a nurse asked.

He held up his badge. "Where… is… Olivia… Stabler," he ground out, panting. "She's in labor and was in a car wreck with my kids, I need to see them!"

"Just calm down sir, let me check the records."

After a total length of ten seconds passed before Elliot opened his mouth to scream at her when Dr. Sutherland passed through the hallway. "Doctor!"

Seeing him, the ObGyn waved him over. "Detective, good afternoon."

"Where's my family?" Elliot choked out, needing to see them.

"Come with me detective. You're kids are fine, only minor cuts and scrapes. Your wife…"

Elliot didn't hear the rest for upon turning the corner and seeing Lizzie and Dickie in the hallway he rushed over to them. "Dad!" they both yelled, throwing their arms around him.

"Oh God, thank the Lord you're alright," Elliot cried, never being more scared than he was at the moment of the crash.

"We're fine dad," Dickie said, slowly pulling out of the embrace.

"How's Liv and the baby? Are they alright?"

Both smiled at him. "Why don't you find out yourself?" Lizzie told him, gesturing to the door. Elliot, a sense of numbness taking over him, shuffled slowly to the handle, gripping it and pushing it open.

Inside was the most beautiful sight. Lying on the bed was Olivia, a worn smile on her face radiating tired happiness. She, even covered in bandages and stiches, was still the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Nestled in the crook of her left arm was a tiny bundle wrapped in a blue blanket, moving slightly. "Hi El," she said weakly.

His head was spinning, a sudden rush of wetness clouding his eyes. "Liv," he went to her side and pulled her in his arms and burying his head in her neck. "I thought I lost you," he said, tears flowing down his cheeks.

"I'm alright El. Hey," she pulled away and cupped his face. "Please don't cry." A soft whimper snapped them out of their trance. A wide smile broke on Olivia's face as she lifted the bundle in her hands. "Meet your son Elliot."

Slowly, Elliot took the bundle in his arms, gazing at the baby, their baby. No matter how many kids he had this, the first meeting, never got any easier. Their baby, his and Olivia's baby, was beautiful. "Hey there little guy. I'm your daddy." At the sound his son, who had Olivia's olive skin, opened his eyes and stared at him in wonder. "He has your eyes Liv," he said in wonder.

"Yes, but he looks like you El," she said, the tears starting to affect her too. As their son started to shift in Elliot's arms, he handed him back to Olivia. "We made him El. We made this beautiful boy," she breathed, settling him on her chest.

"We did didn't we Olivia," he smiled, then noticing two pairs of eyes peeking through the open door. "Come on in guys. See your baby brother."

The twins walked in, their eyes wide at their new sibling. "He's wonderful Livvy," Lizzie said, staring at him.

"He's a regular Stabler isn't he," Dickie boasted. "Yes you are, yes you are baby brother," he cooed, so out of character for him which caused Lizzie to giggle. "What? I finally have a brother. The emotion overcame me."

"Right…" his sister said sarcastically ruffling his hair. "Face it bro, you are a big softie." Dickie merely grumbled. "Oh right," Lizzie remembered. "Livvy, you were about to tell us his name."

A grin formed on her face. "His name is Elliot Joseph Stabler Jr, named after the greatest man I've ever known."

All eyes turned to Elliot, who was just standing there emotionlessly. "So what do you think dad?" Dickie asked.

"You named him after me?"

"Yes El, there isn't anyone else's name I'd rather use. I thought we could call him Eli for short?"

He leaned in and kissed her full on the lips. "That sounds wonderful baby. Doesn't it Eli?" he asked his new son. Eli yawned, stretching his tiny arms upward before snuggling into his mother's chest. "I love you Liv."

"I love you too El." Their lips met in another kiss, husband and wife pouring the love they shared into it.

A slight giggle caused them to look up, breaking the kiss. Dickie was whispering something into Lizzie's ear, his sister chuckling. "What's so funny?" Elliot asked.

"Dickwad here told me something hilarious and completely true," Lizzie said between giggles.

"This I have to hear," remarked Olivia.

"Well," began Dickie, "I just observed that the world wasn't ready for another Elliot Stabler."

"It can barely handle the original," added Lizzie, both of them laughing.

Elliot gave them a glare but softened when he heard Olivia cackling at the joke. "Oh God, two Elliot Stablers. The horror," she fake opined between bouts of laughter.

Smirking, Elliot enveloped his twins and brought them in for a hug along with Olivia, the three of them hovering over her and the baby. Elliot looked at them, his wife and his wonderful kids; nine months ago he had been broken, destroyed, and this beautiful angel had saved him. And in that action a bundle of joy was born. He could never thank God enough for His blessing, but vowed never to take this, his family, for granted.

**A/N: And the two shot is done. I hope you liked it :)**

**What did you guys think of El and Liv getting married here? I'd like to think of the 9th season premier being the wedding episode.**

**I had a lot of fun writing Lizzie and Dickie. As you all know they are infants in Prey so it was nice to get them as teenagers.**

**For the car crash I shortened it a bit since the twins wouldn't really have the skills as Olivia did on the show, but I did give them a role.**

**Please review, and don't forget to check out Countdown and Prey :)**

**I'm having trouble thinking which episode to do next. Do you guys have any suggestions? I would like it to be pre-Fault but there needs to be a plot conducive to EO like Annihilated was.**

**God bless.**


	5. Fault

**Updated A/N (3/8/2015): Hey guys. If you are reading this then you got my messages from yesterday. I just wanted to say a few things. First of all, thank you for continuing to read this story. There may have been some rocky times in the beginning but you guys stuck with me and I couldn't be more grateful. Secondly, I want to tell you that I've decided to take a short break from fanfiction. I'll still read the stories I'm following but I won't read any new ones or update my fics (apart from getting one more chapter of From the Ashes done). With the move from my house and all the exams I just need a breather, I hope you'll understand. I don't know when I'll update again though I do know it'll be before May and I am not giving up on my stories. I plan on finishing all of them (and publishing three new ideas that I have). Thanks for listening to me and be sure to let me know what you think of my decision. If you haven't left a review for this chapter or my other fics please do so. There are so many familiar faces that I haven't heard from in a while that I'd love to get their opinion on how I'm doing, as well as the sneak peeks that are available to reviewers, wink. Also, if you have a twitter account be sure to follow me: The Congressman22. I'm free to talk any time :)**

**Take Care and God Bless**

**The Congressman**

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I started my new story and there were delays due to the fact that my family is selling our house, it****'****s all very hectic. **

**Anyway, I've decided to tackle the classic episode Fault before heading to the Surrender Benson saga next. I know Fault has been done hundreds of times but it is a matter of honor to all SVU EO writers to get this episode right. It is the one single episode where EO would have been the most likely to happen and they flipped all of us the bird.**

**The dialogue might not be the same, but I****'****m going on this from memory so please forgive any mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: If El and Liv are not together and happy on the show then I do not own it.**

**Also, I would like to say a quick prayer to the nation of Israel as they stand against the evil regime of the Islamic Republic of Iran. I stand with Israel.**

**A big thanks to my beta Stabson. Best SVU EO on the site.**

**Review and enjoy :)**

Part Five: Fault

Sighing, Detective Olivia Benson rolled onto her back, staring at the dark ceiling. Her bed was a large-queen sized mattress, though she was cursing the large amount of space she had now. She was alone once more; another boyfriend had broken up with her, citing the job.

It was always some excuse with her. A man would hate the job, be too interested in the job, or just be a jerk in general, seeking a quick lay with a beautiful woman. Never in her four decades on this earth had Olivia found a man to stay with her more than four months (apart from her high-school boyfriend/fiancée, who was with her for a grand total of seven months), and to make up for it she dove into her work, helping the victims and delivering the swift hand of justice to the scum of the earth. For most of her life it had worked.

However, like now for instance, Olivia longed for the intimacy she had never once experienced; longed to have someone she could love unconditionally and who loved her in the same light. Of all the brouhaha of having a fulfilling career and being an independent woman (though she never regretted having one and being one), what was the use of them without having the love of a man and loving him in return?

The truth was there was one man she wanted to be with, one man she believed she could love, hell did love desperately, but there was no possibility there. He was married, and even so only saw her as a friend, at most a sister. Not wanting another night of restless pining, Olivia gazed again that the ceiling, silently beseeching God to help her; she did not want more lonely nights, more pining after someone that would never bee hers.

A knock at the door startled her from her silent prayer. She took a look at the clock, two in the morning. 'Who the hell comes here at 2:00 AM?' she thought, drawing her Glock 9mm from her nightstand and creeping slowly to the door, clad in nothing but an old T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Reaching the door, she gazed through the peephole only to find her partner on the other end. "Elliot?" She unlatched the chain and swing it wide open. "For Christ's sake, what are you doing here?"

Upon seeing the gun at her side, Elliot gave a tired grin. "Luckily you looked first. Wouldn't have wanted you to go Badass Benson on me."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Even at this hour you're the same," she muttered, causing Elliot's grin to widen. At that point she noticed the small suitcase by his side. "You get into a fight with Kathy again?" He did this every so often; he and the wife would get into a screaming match, he'd storm out or she'd kick him out, and he'd crash on Olivia's couch. The brunette detective, much as it taunted and pained her, always allowed him in; he was her best friend and partner after all.

His grin dropped into a frown. "You could say that," Elliot told her, lugging the suitcase into her apartment. "Only thing is, I might be staying here for a bit longer than before."

"Huh?" she asked him, confused.

"We're getting a divorce," he blurted as he plopped on her couch, causing her jaw to drop. "She served me the papers tonight, said she had been working on them for the past two months."

Still stunned, Olivia sat next to her partner, wanting to take him into her arms but resisting the impulse. She settled for setting a hand on his back. "I'm so sorry El. Where did this come from? I thought you two had a good marriage." It had been one of the reasons she had no hope on that front.

"I thought so too," he ground out, sounding defeated; in all her life Olivia had never seen Elliot seem defeated. Drained after a hard case, feeling depressed from seeing a kid with no soul due to a lifetime of abuse, yes. Defeated, never, and it broke her heart. "I guess I was never paying attention." He laughed dryly. "No wonder Kathy wants a divorce."

She shook her head. "Elliot, you are a good man in an impossible position. You have a job that demands great things from you and somehow you do it and manage to, as you said, keep it separate from your family life. If Kathy doesn't understand that they you're better off without her." It was a simplistic statement, but Olivia hoped it would cheer him up for now.

A smile gracing his lips, Elliot pulled her into a friendly hug, Olivia melting into the embrace. "Thanks Liv," he breathed. "I'm glad you're in my life."

Olivia loved hearing such things from him. Elliot was usually so closed off and standoffish (much like she was), so her words of comfort must've really hit home with him. "You're the only real friend I have, the only one I can truly confide in."

He looked back at her, a small smirk on his face. "I don't know whether to be flattered or mortified."

"Oh shut up," she chided, slapping him playfully on the shoulder.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

"…It's kind of funny, how so much blood can be in such a little body. The stuff was everywhere."

Elliot was trying not to either puke or take out his gun and shoot the TV. Glancing at Liv he noticed she was a little green herself though her usually kind eyes were burning with anger. For the last three days they had been on the trail of one Victor Paul Gitano, convicted rapist, torture killer, and bail jumper who murdered three people and kidnapped two, two young kids. They were out of leads and figured some of his shrink tapes might give them a clue to how he operated.

"After that I don't know what happened to him," the video Gitano said, the picture of calm nonchalance. "He lived, I know that. Testified against me a couple of times. Ha," he chuckled. "I don't know who's luckier? That kid because he lived or the other kid because he didn't."

"Turn it off El," Olivia seethed, closing her eyes and shuddering.

"Gladly." Elliot picked up the remote and paused the tape, leaving the screen centered on a smug looking Gitano, smiling at the camera with a carefree expression, as if he were recounting a picnic at the beach rather than raping and butchering a kid. "I don't know about you Liv, but forget about arresting him. Would you have my back if I put a bullet in his head?"

She chuckled. "I always have your back El; I'll just tell Tucker he was shot while attempting to disarm you." They smirked at each other. "El, after this case I think we both need a vacation."

"Oh most definitely," he replied. "With the vacation days we've got in the bank we could take a year off and still have some left over."

"I'm not suggesting a year; I'd die of boredom!" she giggled, amazed at his ability to make her laugh only a short time after watching a sadist explain his perversions. "A week or two would be nice though. Get eight hours sleep, walk in Central Park, maybe find you an apartment," she winked nudging him in the side.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Sounds good." Truth be told, he didn't want to move out. The last three weeks had been the best of his life. Having been forced to marry Kathy due to her pregnancy, the then seventeen-year old Elliot had to grow up fast in order to take care of his family. With Olivia however he could be himself; she knew him better than anyone else. He didn't know why yet but the thought of no longer being with her made him feel empty inside.

"Guys," Fin said, poking his head into the room. "We have a new lead as to where he is."

Olivia rose. "Well El, let's get this bastard." Grinning back, Elliot nodded and rose, ready to take this guy down.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

It was pandemonium in the bus terminal. After their witness had chickened out Gitano had bolted, forcing El and Liv to split up to try and cut him off. Elliot had his gun drawn, his own, personal M1911 Colt .45 instead of the standard Glock 9mm; if he was force to take Gitano down the heavy slug would crumple him like a sack of peas. "NYPD!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "Out of the way!"

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a thatch of curly blonde hair. There was the little boy standing in the middle of the floor, completely alone. "Ryan," he said, working his way to him. "Hey buddy."

"Freeze!" Elliot's head turned to see Olivia, holding her gun out at Gitano who was clutching to the young girl. "Get down…" In a flash Gitano's hand, clutching a knife, sliced across Olivia's neck and ran for Ryan, screams coming from the crowd.

It was at that point that Elliot had to make a decision; he could go after Gitano and save the kids, kill the fucker before he got away. However, there was Olivia, his partner, his best friend, possibly dying on the floor. In a split second he made his decision; he couldn't sit by and watch as she died, the woman he, he, lo… "Liv!"

Noticing a blur to her side, a panicked and scared Olivia turned her head to see Elliot kneel over her with a terrified look on his face. "Liv! God no, Liv!"

She pressed her hand against her neck, blood coating her hand but the cut not feeling deep at all. "El, I'm fine; it's nothing, get him. Get the asshole."

Relieved, Elliot sprang upward and charged toward the escalator. When he reached the top his shoulders sagged at the sight before him. "He got em Elliot," Fin told him, trying to guide the detective away but Elliot shrugged his hands off. The boy was on the ground, completely still with blood oozing out of a cut on his neck. Gulping, the usually stoic and tough Elliot Stabler felt like crying, his mind forming the image of his son in the same position.

However, there was another reason he wanted to cry; in this position it could have very easily been Olivia, and it scared him deeply. 'Why didn't she take the shot?' he thought, getting angry. 'Why?'

A few hours later, all of them were in the precinct licking their wounds and regrouping, trying to figure out what Gitano's next plan was. Olivia looked at Elliot sitting at his desk, head in hands. She bit her lip, knowing that this was her doing, that by failing to take the shot the little boy had died. "Elliot," she breathed, setting a hand on his shoulder.

Shocking her, unlike the other night three weeks before he shrugged her off. "Leave me alone Liv," he ground out, needing to be alone. He couldn't stand hearing her voice, it only made him think of her bleeding on the floor, grotesquely dead. Elliot rose and walked into the hallway, his back to her.

Olivia was speechless; she and Elliot had such a good relationship, especially now and he was acting like this. It was like a knife to her heart and she wanted to sob, but Olivia adopted a facade of steel and went right after him. "Is there something you want to say to me El?"

"I can't do this anymore Liv." 'I can't see you die.'

"What is that supposed to mean?" 'Please don't be what I think.'

"Having to look over my shoulder to see if you're ok or not," he turned around, yelling so as not to break down, relying on his trusty anger at the situation. "You have to learn to do your fucking job without having me look out for you all the time!" 'What if I fail?'

"You son of a bitch! You know that's not true!" 'I couldn't do this job without you El.'

"Why didn't you take the shot Olivia, why? Ryan could have lived if you did!" 'You could have avoided near death.'

"I couldn't El, there were people around, and he was using the girl as a human shield. I wish I had died instead of Ryan." 'It would hurt less than having you hate me.' "Why the hell did you not go after him?"

Before Elliot could respond Cragen erupted out of his office, his face red with rage. "Cool it both of you! We have enough problems on our hands without having you two bicker like schoolchildren. Now go cool off or so help me I'll suspend you both without pay!" The two detectives stormed off to different areas in the precinct, both heartbroken but too angry to show it.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

The warehouse was dark, the tattered walls covered in shadows even though it was early in the afternoon. Olivia knew something bad was about to happen; she had always had a sixth sense about these things and it was almost always right. They had tracked Gitano here and knew that this was the final showdown one way or the other.

She and Elliot hadn't talked more than three words since their big fight and it was eating at her. Their relationship had always had its ups and downs including plenty of fights but there was something different about this time. Something deep and emotional; did Elliot hate her now?

"Get down fucker!" she heard a voice scream, followed by the sounds of a scuffle.

Running towards the sound with her gun raised, Olivia turned a corner only to see Gitano grabbing Elliot's shoulder, forcing him to stand while holding a double-barrel shotgun to his head. "Hand's up Gitano," she said evenly, though inside she wanted to scream. 'Please God,' she prayed silently. 'Please protect Elliot.'

"Yeah, like I'm going to do that," he quipped, laughing. "One move sweetheart and I'll blow his head off!"

"Do it Liv," Elliot told her. While no sane person wanted to die, he knew Olivia's life was worth far more than his. If she killed Gitano regardless of what would happen to him then she would be alright. In that case he could die content. "Kill the fucker."

"Shut up!" Gitano yelled, pushing his head back with the 12-gauge barrel.

"I ought to put a bullet in you right now Victor," Olivia stated, willing herself to remain calm and collected, to not give Gitano anything. Quelling the terror within her soul, Olivia's eyes bored into his, soulless eyes locking with ones of clear determination.

"Go ahead," Gitano sneered. "You'll never find the girl."

"She'll be found eventually," Olivia shrugged nonchalantly. "The warehouse is a finite area. You aren't as smart as you think you are."

"Oh believe me, it doesn't matter. You try and kill me I kill your partner here. Hit me and my finger might pull the trigger on reflex. Miss me and I shoot, or you might hit him instead. What an impossible choice detective. What will you choose?" He seemed to be enjoying this.

"Don't listen Liv. Just do it."

"You can pretend you don't care all you want but I know you do. You care deeply whether your partner lives or dies."

Olivia hesitated, just staring Gitano down and trying not to give anything away. However, it was a losing battle; Elliot was too important to her, he was the reason she lived. Olivia knew at that point she just couldn't shoot, she just couldn't shoot. Olivia couldn't risk killing Elliot, couldn't risk killing the only person that really mattered in her life. "I'm sorry El," she murmured, a slight shake passing through her.

Elliot wasn't sure what she was saying, but Gitano was, also noticing the shudder. The rapist was a master at reading people and deciphered feelings that even she didn't want to admit. "Oh my God," he said chuckling, which soon turned into an all-out bout of laughter. "This is fucking awesome!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Elliot. He had been bracing himself for death but his supposed executioner's laughter piqued his curiosity.

"I should have saw it a long time before. She's in love with you." He dissolved in laughter, keeping the shotgun firmly pressed to Elliot's temple. "This is even better than I hoped."

Olivia was panicking inside. "Shut the fuck up Gitano!" She wasn't ready to admit it herself, wasn't ready to deal with the consequences, and now this piece of scum was about to do it for her; not to mention he was going to kill Elliot, kill him before she could come clean. Despite the very nature of her job Olivia had operated under the assumption that there was an infinite amount of time, the fact that either of them could die never crossing her mind. The mistake was now on her with a vengeance. "Let him go or I swear to Christ I'll kill you."

"Oh I don't think so detective. I know I'm going to die, but before I do you are going to have to watch as I pump your love's head full of buckshot right before your eyes." His finger brushed the trigger.

This was it, her worst nightmare come true. "Nooo!" yelled Olivia.

Just then a crack resonated through the building. Elliot's eyes were closed, imagining everything to go black in moments but it didn't. Opening them, the first thing he spotted was Gitano crumpled on the ground, blood trickling out of a small hole in his head. "All clear!" an ESU cop shouted, him and his armored team moving through the room. He fell to his knees, completely numb.

"El!" Olivia shouted, running to him. Not caring about anything else, she kneeled and wrapped his arms around him. "You're safe El," she whispered, more to herself than to anyone else; she had to know he was alive, that he existed, that the living, breathing body in her arms was real. Olivia buried her head in his neck, her cheek resting on his pulse, the throbbing vein reassuring her that he was indeed alive. A tear fell from her eye to his skin. "You're alive, you're safe…" He didn't resist, just letting her hold him.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Wordlessly, El and Liv entered the elevator in Olivia's apartment building. The case had ended on a good note, the ESU team finding the girl alive and well in a box somewhere in the warehouse; while Olivia was happy about that it was drowned by Elliot's behavior. He hadn't said a word since Gitano had been killed, just staring into space with a pensive expression on his face. She was worried about him, and worried about what it meant about their relationship.

Leading him out of the elevator, Olivia guided Elliot to her front door. "We're here El," she said, opening the door. When he didn't respond she moved them to the couch and they both sat down. "Let me get you a drink." Olivia made to stand but was stopped by a grip on her wrist.

"Would you have taken the shot?" he said in a whisper so soft she barely heard it. "If the sniper didn't beat you too it?"

Olivia blinked, caught off guard by his bluntness. It was classic Stabler, but in the mood he was in she wasn't expecting it. "El, uh," she hesitated, lowering her head. "No, no I wouldn't have."

He just stared at her, showing nothing. She could usually read him like a book, but her mind was drawing a blank right now. "Why?" he asked after a long pause, his cerulean blue eyes boring straight into her soul.

"Do you really think I'd risk harming you El?" she asked him. Suppressing her emotions, she managed a small smile. "You're my partner. I care about you."

"You care about me?" he parroted back, Olivia not knowing if it was a statement or a question. She averted her gaze, trying to steel herself for what was coming. 'He's going to want a new partner. He's going to leave me,' she thought, tears threatening to form. "Was he right?"

Her head swiveled around. "Wha – what?"

"Was Gitano right? Do you love me?"

'Damn Elliot and his bluntness.' Olivia had spent years trying to avoid coming to terms with her feelings for Elliot, trying to find happiness somewhere else even though it was pointless. However, now with the direct questioning Elliot was doing she had to come clean. She couldn't lie to him. "Yes. It's true El. I have for years." She closed her eyes; it was now out in the open, undeniable. Their friendship would never be the same again. "I'm sorry El, we don't have to speak of this again."

"What if I don't want to do that?"

Opening her eyes, the first thing she could see was that his expression was changed; his once impassive face was now adorned with a small, loving smile, his eyes boring into her again. God, he was so handsome. "El?"

Without speaking, he reached up and cupped the back of her head. Before she could comprehend what was happening he pulled her in and kissed her full on the lips. Olivia stiffened in his arms, completely stunned at his boldness. However, the warmth of his lips, the feel of them against hers was just so wonderful; she soon lost herself into the kiss, which quickly became heated as they poured over seven years of repressed feelings into it.

Coming up for air, Olivia looked up at her partner. "I love you too Liv," he breathed. "I didn't know it as long as you apparently did, but that doesn't mean it isn't real."

"You love me?" she asked him with a whisper. "But what about yesterday, after Ryan's death?"

His brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"You said you couldn't keep looking over your shoulder for me."

"Liv, all I mean was that I could never bear to see you hurt. All I could imagine after Ryan died was you with your throat slit instead of him. It almost happened Liv, and if it did I don't think I'd be able to handle it. I couldn't bear to live without you." She couldn't respond, her jaw flapping like a fish. He reached over and clasped her hands in his, causing her eyes to widen. "I know it may be tough Liv, that there will be a lot against us, but I want to be with you, have a relationship with you."

The tears were flowing now, more a trickle than a flood. "Are you sure El?"

"Liv, you and the job are all I have left in this world, but I'd trade the latter for the former any day of the week."

"Oh El," she let out a sob. How did this happen to her? The woman who never had a committed relationship now had the love of the most wonderful man on earth. "I love you El. Kiss me again."

Elliot grinned widely. "Love you too Liv, and gladly."

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

"Are you sure about this Liv?"

She smiled at him in the hallway, them the only two people left in the precinct apart from one. "I am El. It's the only way to keep Tucker and the other bureaucrats off our backs."

He sighed. "It's the end of an era."

"I know, but I'm looking forward to starting a new one."

"With me?"

"Always," she leaned up and kissed him, which soon became passionate. "El," she mumbled as he dropped down to her neck, leaving feather light kisses on her skin that made her eyes roll back into her skull. "Much as I want to continue this I think it should be in our apartment."

With an eyebrow cocked, Elliot detached himself and looked at her. "Our apartment?"

She felt sheepish and slightly embarrassed. "Uh, well, uh…"

"Every day I fall in love with you more," he interrupted, making her melt.

"Same here," she told him, smiling widely. "Now go wait downstairs. I'll be down shortly."

"Promise."

Olivia kissed his cheek. "Promise." He smiled and walked toward the elevator, sneaking glances at her over his shoulder.

"I love that man," she murmured to herself after the elevator closed. "And he loves me." Olivia shuddered in glee, not believing her good fortune. God was truly shining his blessing on her.

Captain Don Cragen was intently writing his DD5s when he heard a knock on his door. "Come in."

It opened slowly and Olivia poked her head in. "Evening Cap."

"Good evening Olivia," he said warmly, taking off his reading glasses. "What's up; I thought you and Elliot had left already."

"About that," she said, biting her lip. This was it; some part of her didn't want to do this. She and Elliot worked so well together, but it had to be done. 'It has to be done Benson, you may be losing him in one aspect but you'll be gaining him in every other one.'

"I need a new partner."

**A/N: And there is my version of Fault. I guess that makes me an official SVU writer now, lol.**

**I hope you liked what I did by changing the context of the famous quotes. I personally loved how they turned out ;)**

**Don****'****t forget to review, and check out Prey, Countdown, and From the Ashes.**

**Next up: Surrender Benson**

**God Bless**


End file.
